Whats the glycemic index on semen?
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
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