Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
He tugged on my tampon string and said 'there's a snake in my boot'. Needless to say he called me Woody and quoted Toy Story the rest of the night.
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
My new dentist just kinda stared at me when I told him that I used to have partial dentures after breaking 2 teeth while beating the shit out of someone, until I puked them into the toilet and flushed them after getting high and making myself undercooked mac and cheese.
Randomize
