so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
Slut skills are useful in every country.
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
I can't turn off my feet"
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
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