Pregnant stripper...not hot.
Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
Randomize
