we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
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