yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
I'm always down for nudity.
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
Randomize
