my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
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Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
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I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
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