Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
Everything about him screamed your future.
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
Learned two new lessons today: 1) Do not identify pills found in one's car by taking them to see what happens, especially while at work, and 2) There is no logical reason to keep ambien in one's vehicle...
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize
