now i know why i became what i already was.
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
Randomize
