pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
two words...techno handjob
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Randomize
