You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize
