what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
Randomize
