I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
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