Gettin pulled over, can you watch my dog and pay the bils for a while?
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
I wonder how horrible I look to customers. There's cuts all over my face and I can't talk.
What are the cuts from? Head-butting the bathroom light fixture?
Honestly that's best case scenario.
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
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