The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
Randomize
