Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
Randomize
