I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
He uses pillows to masturbate.
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
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