I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
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