hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
What changed your mind?
Being sober
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
The thing about being single is like Sunday morning sex is nice but so is Sunday morning eating Nutella from the jar in your underwear
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
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