So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Randomize
