Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
Randomize
