we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
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