So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
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