im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
Pretty sure one of my drivers stopped to get laid while he was delivering a pizza. Is it appropriate to give him a write-up AND a high-five?
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
