have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
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