Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
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