Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
Randomize
