I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
Randomize
