Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
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