Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
we tried to pick out bridesmaid dresses with pockets so we could sneak flasks in with us. what the fuck is the point of a dry wedding?
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
I yelled at your uterus for you.
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
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