I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
Randomize