if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
I'm sad that I feel like I need to temporarily change your name in my phone from Smashley until you have the baby and can be unsober with us again.
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
She's better-looking with the mask on.
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