even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
We have started to decorate penises.
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
I'm drunk from drinking bourbon out of a "cupcake sippy cup" at the Denny's bar. What the fuck happened to the goals I had?
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
Randomize
