my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize
