No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
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