My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
Randomize
