eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
Randomize
