Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
Randomize
