if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Randomize
