So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
Randomize
