I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
You called yourself Captain Aspirin and then tried to cure my headache by shoving pills up my nose. Fuck you becoming a nurse, you can't take care of me while you're drunk ever again. Ever.
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
Randomize
