Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
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