is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
This spray tan I used isn't working out. I spent an hour exfoliating and rubbing the damn stuff in with rubber gloves. I wanted the alluring, sun-kissed, sexy look. I've achieved smelling like burnt popcorn and the cats won't stop licking me. I'm a salt lick for cats.
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
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