I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
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He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
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Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
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