I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
Randomize
