fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
These 19 Teachers Had Very Inappropriate Interactions With Students
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
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this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?