google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
A milkman. But instead of milk I'm delivering marijuana. And instead of a milk truck it's an armored car.
You're a weed delivery man, in an armored car?
I need to wash the frat house off of me
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.