SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
These 29 Nasty People Went To The Bathroom In Public
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
19 People Who Had An Inappropriate Celebrity Encounter
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.