I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
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