Buhtt sex?
I should be sponsored by Trojan
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
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