Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
I just farted so loud that my cat got so scared he fell off the couch.
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
NoShamevember. You game?
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
