this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
Randomize
