I puked a lego.
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
Randomize
