it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
Randomize
