i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
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