So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
I shit you not. I was sitting on Brian's balcony...still drunk from the night before, and a hummingbird flew onto the patio, stared me right in the face and flew away. I feel like it was God's way of telling me, "Stop drinking."
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
Randomize
