Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
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