come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
Please call me back as soon as your phone is charged, if you die tonight I don't want the last thing I said to you to be "I just farted a little"
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize