He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
I fell asleep while we were Skyping and woke up to his balls bouncing in front of the camera while he sang "Wakey Wakey!" over and over again. Merryfuckingchristmas.
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
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