8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
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