"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
Randomize
