My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
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