I wanna passion pit in your ass
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
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