just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
Sex in the backyard? Check.
Randomize