i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
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