Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize
