I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
Randomize
