i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
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